User:A Very Caillou Thanksgiving

(Boris, Doris, and Caillou enter Rosemary and Haxley's house.)

Boris: Grandma, Grandpa, we're here.

Haxley: There's my boy! How's everything?

Boris: Oh, it (beep)ing sucks. I hate my big mean son, so...

Caillou (whining): But I'm a big nice son, Daddy! (Enter Rosemary)

Rosemary: You sure are, Caillou!

(Boris goes to leave)

Caillou: Where are you going, Daddy?

Boris: To drink, I'll see you at dinner.

(A pitcher of alcohol is being poured into Boris' cup and he is drinking alcohol with Haxley.)

Narrator: While Daddy day drank and watched football with Grandpa, Caillou helped Grandma out in the kitchen.

(Caillou is standing next to Rosemary as she is mixing dough.)

Rosemary: Caillou, help me whip up the mashed potatoes.

Caillou: I call them "Mashed Pantatoes"! (stuffs the mashed potatoes into his shorts, causing Rosemary to laugh.)

Rosemary: That's really funny, Caillou!

Doris: No, it's not. Don't encourage him.

Rosemary: He's a good boy!

Caillou: I'm gonna be a real good boy and go check in on Daddy! (goes into the living room and blocks the TV)

Narrator: Caillou went to the living room to watch football with Grandpa and Daddy.

Caillou: Wanna see my Thanksgiving dance?

Boris: Oh my god.

Caillou: I call it the "Thanksgiving Thunderfoot". (He starts to dance, spilling mashed potatoes everywhere and causing Boris to get annoyed and Haxley to laugh.)

Boris (annoyed): Oh my god, can you (beep)ing move?

Haxley: Oh, it's fine. You need to relax.

(Boris looks annoyed at him as the doorbell rings. Caillou excitedly runs to get the door.)

Caillou (excitedly): I’LL GET IT! Oh boy, oh boy! (opens the door) It's cousin Boue!

Boue (with the same enthusiasm): That's me! (goes into the living room) Happy Thanksgiving, Uncle Daddy!

Boris (annoyed): Thanks, but I also hate you. (sees Cousin Jim and Susan) Oh, hi, Cousin Jim, Susan.

Jim: Drinking a little early this year, huh?

Boris: Yeah, well, not all of us need A.A., Jim, so...

Rosemary: Dinner's ready!

Boris (eager to get the day over with): Oh, thank God!

(The family sits down to the typical Thanksgiving feast.)

Narrator: Caillou and his family sat down for a nice Thanksgiving dinner.

Boris (impressed): Oh, this all looks great, Grandma!

Haxley (bringing out the turkey): And here's the main course. (sets the turkey on the table, disgusting Caillou and Boue) Gobble gobble! Hehehe!

Caillou (annoyed): I DON'T WANT TURKEY! I WANT PIZZA!

Boue (just as annoyed): I want pizza, too! I wanna be "pizza pilgrims!"

(Caillou and Boue are dressed as pilgrims and sitting down to a nice warm pizza.)

Caillou and Boue (chanting): Pizza Pigrims! Pizza Pilgrims! Pizza Pilgrims!

(Cut back to reality where Boris is furiously shaking his fist and yelling)

Boris (yelling): SHUT UP!

Haxley: Look, daddy, if they want pizza, let's order them a pizza.

Boris (getting even more annoyed): No, we're not ordering a (beep) damn pizza on Thanksgiving! We're gonna eat Grandma's (beep) damn turkey!

Caillou and Boue (whining with tears in eyes): But we don't wanna!

Jim: They don't need pizza.

Rosemary (getting out her phone): I'll order them a pizza.

Boris: NO! (angrily slapping the phone out of her hand)

Haxley (angrily): Hey, you do that to your mommy again and you'll be eating tea soup tonight, you little (beep)!

Caillou and Boue (chanting teasily): Uh, oh! Daddy's in trouble! Daddy's in trouble! Daddy's in trouble!

Boris (furiously): Shut up! I'm not! I am so sick of both of your (beep)!

Haxley (angrily): Daddy, I'm sick of your (beep)!

Boris: (with a silent "What?")

Rosemary (just as angry): Me too! You've been acting like a maniac all day!

Boris (defensively): No, I'm not! They are!

Jim (in agreement): He ain't wrong. I hate my kid too. (turning to Boris) Boris, can I get some scotch?

Boris: No, it's mine!

Haxley: You're drunk!

Boris (defensively): i've had a wet Thanksgiving, sure, but I am not drunk!

Rosemary (angrily): You're making a fool of yourself, Boris.

Boris (having reached the end of his rope): Oh! Oh, I'm making a fool of myself, Okay! Okay, if I was making a fool of myself, I'd be making mashed pantatoes! (puts the mashed potatoes in his pants and making mocking noises) Like that, (beep)! Or, I'd be doing the "Thanksgiving Thunderfoot!" (beep)ing, look at me! (does the Thanksgiving Thunderfoot and continues making mocking noises) Like that! Or I'd be eating a pizza, like this! (takes the mashed potatoes and stuffs it in his mouth, whilst making more mocking noises) How do you like it, huh? Daddy, daddy, DADDY, ALL (BEEP)ING DAY!

Doris (angrily): Daddy, you're acting like Caillou!

Boris (angrily): And Grandma and Grandpa think it's cute when he does it! They always take Caillou's side, and he SUCKS! GIVE MY (beep)ING SCOTCH! (takes the scotch and drinks some) I’m Daddy, THAT’S ME! (throws the glass and breaks it onto the floor)

Caillou: We should call the cops on Daddy!

Rosemary (in agreement): Good idea, Caillou. (reaching for her phone once more) I'll call...

(Boris slaps the phone out of her hand once more)

Boris (angrily): NO!

Haxley (furiously taking off his gloves): Alright, I warned you! It's fighting time, you little (beep)! Get over here!

Boris (afraid): Okay, you need to relax!

Haxley (furiously): I can't relax, because I've raised a psycho. I hate my big mean son!

(He knocks Boris to the floor and kicks Boris, with the latter screaming fearfully)

Caillou and Boue: (Gleefully) Yay!

(Episode ends)